As humans, it is natural to feel all sorts of emotions, especially the ones that have any connection with our past. As time passes by, we always realize how much is changing and that our life is probably taking a completely different course from what we had in mind. Such situations make us anxious where we immediately want to somehow cling on and not let go. The fear of entering the unexpected pushes us to hang on to what we know and what we deem safe. These are even more heightened in the case of relationships, especially romantic ones. Regardless of what history we might share with someone, there will always be a soft corner for someone we once were in love with. Being romantically involved with someone creates a connection that stays forever even if the relationship itself ends. The person is always a part of our heart even if they were a reason behind why it broke. It is very hard to let go of their feelings for them. This does not mean one doesn’t move on. People do move on and find similar or better love in other people; however, they always remember what their feelings were for someone in their past.
There are times when you also want to just go back to that person who broke your heart or the one you have a bitter history with. This does not make you a bad person. It makes you human as this is very normal. This only means that you are having a hard time moving on. Many times when things are not going as planned and you are generally feeling down about life, you tend to go back to the memories that once felt good. This may include daydreaming about your ex, who you once loved and shared beautiful memories with. During this time, you blackout about the negative memories associated with that time. It is very normal for our brain to crawl back to those times and make everything else seem insignificant.
Is it a Recent or An Ex Long Time Back?
There could be various reasons as to why you are daydreaming about your ex. It depends whether the heartbreak was recent or was it a long time back. If this is something that happened not also long ago, then it is very normal to think of that person. Everything that has happened is very fresh in your mind and there is always going to be a part of you that would want to give it another chance. You would rethink your decision of ending this relationship. However, if the ex is from long ago this means something has happened in your current life to trigger those old memories. Maybe you came face to face with him or her. Maybe you came across something that reminded you of them or maybe you are not happy with your life and are in the “what if” state of mind. This means you are thinking about whether your life would have been different or better had you still been in a relationship with that one person from your past.
Does my old ex remember me?
This is a question you keep asking yourself regardless of how long ago your ex is from. If you are thinking about them, you always tend to wonder if they think about you as well. You keep wondering if they also miss you the way you miss them. You think about whether they have moved on or not; whether they have that soft corner for you or not. There are so many things that our brain keeps boiling up and making us want to explode our brains when we wonder about these unknown things related to our once special person. It’s even more frustrating since there is no easy way to find out the answers to these brewing questions in our minds.
What should I do if I want to rekindle the love?
The first and foremost thing to do if you want to reunite with your ex-love is to find out whether there is even a chance for this reunion. There is a possibility that he or she has moved on with someone else and now they do not have any space for you in their lives. There is no point in investing in something that is long gone and not yours anymore. You must know whether there is any room for an opportunity where you can put your efforts in. You also need to find out if the person is generally on the same page in life as you or not. It’s highly possible that he or she now has extremely different aspirations and future plans from what you have in mind. Make sure that you are not getting into something that would make either of your sacrifices something else that you dearly want or desire.
2. Talk to them directly
This is probably the hardest thing to do as it requires a lot of strength and guts. It is not easy coming face to face with someone like that. However, this is why the first step is essential. Once you have your investigation complete you will know if doing something so big is even worth it or not. If you are absolutely sure that this is what you want and that your ex could be brought to the same page, then muster up the courage and go for it. Talk to them and confront them about your feelings, while hoping for the best.
3. Ask a mutual friend to reconnect you
This is a relatively safer route to take. Not everyone has the guts to talk to someone from your past easily. If you have a shared history, then it is entirely possible that you also had mutual friends or acquaintances who can now come up as help. These people can assist you in bridging the gap that was created due to whatever circumstances. They can also help you figure out whether the feelings are mutual or not or whether the space for you in their life exists or not. This route helps you bridge the gap and also investigate. So, let’s hope you have genuinely nice friends who care about what you want and what is best for you.
What should I do if I want to move on?
4. Talk to someone
This means to talk to someone professional or someone who has good experience with dealing with these things. There are therapists out there who can help you come to terms with your feelings and also guide you on how to move on. If you are someone who does not have the courage to visit a therapist, then talk to someone with experience. Find someone who has been through the same situation and has managed to move on with dignity. There will be quite a few examples of such people around you or on the internet. Find them, read their stories, talk to them and take guidance and inspiration.
5. Get Busy
More often than not all you need to do is find the right kind of distraction. This means you need to invest your physical and emotional energy into something else that completely diverts your mind. Apart from your regular job, there are many other things that can help. These include travel, exercise and/or just spending more time at work. You can even socialize with people who belong to a completely different group of people who will not remind you of your ex in any way. So, look for what suits you the best and go for it.
6. Look for other options
A very simple way to move on is by finding someone better. It is simple to say it but not easy to find that someone. However, it is the most useful. Socialize, use dating apps, travel and meet new people. There is always an opportunity waiting to be utilized, so do not miss it. The most essential thing to do in this case is to have an open mind and not shut down any opportunities that may be approaching you. Know your worth and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
In conclusion, we must realize that these feelings and emotions are completely natural, and one must not feel negative about themselves. Life is also short to have any regrets so do what your heart wants and always strive for happiness.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé