How To Know For Sure That He Still Love Me? 5 Signs To Check Off
So you just broke up with your boyfriend and life is pretty much upside down right now. But that’s not why you’re here. You’re here because he’s giving off some awfully confusing signs that you might still be the one his heart yearns for. You’re wondering if it’s just your imagination is playing tricks on you or if it’s real and if it is, what to do about it.
Before you jump the gun and planning how you’ll be in his arms soon, go through the list below and look out for the very specific reasons that he still loves you.
1. The pendulum effect
The time immediately after a breakup is confusing for both you and your ex so some things done during this period may seem completely confusing and irritating.
One minute your relationship is ended, finite, finished and then the next, you find out that your ex is doing a little bit of stalking and finding out if you’ve moved on from him.
Sometimes you enjoy texting back and forth and then he goes completely off, even ignoring your calls and completely ghosting you.
It feels like he’s dragging you back and forth. Imagine a pendulum swinging, from one point to another. Extreme opposites. That’s what’s going on right now. And you feel like he’s playing head games with you because he says he’s done with you but his actions point otherwise.
Your ex is going through a lot of confusion, his mind and his heart are waging war on each other and you are experiencing the effects of this tug. On the one hand he most definitely still has feelings for you and his heart wants to lead him home, to you. But on the other hand, his brain is rationalizing the whole thing and telling that getting with you is a bad idea, and so he yo-yo’s on the cusp of this indecision.
He might not be doing it on purpose but if you notice this behavior, Do not engage. It’ll be confusing to you but if you engage him in any way that shows him that his behavior is bothering you you’ll be giving him the upper hand and he’ll definitely know that he still affects you.
2. He’s keeping constant communication
You might be over and done but you notice that your ex has been keeping a constant stream of communication going one way or another after the ‘no contact’ rule has been enforced. He definitely feels something even if he’s not saying it.
He’s looking for any sort of excuse just so he can talk to you, so he sends you a random text once in a while.
The most common sign that he still feels a great deal about you, is drunk texting or calling. There’s a famous quote: In vino veritas. In wine there is the truth. Alcohol tends to amplify our emotions and kicks our inhibitions to the wind. So, he still really likes you but his brain is telling him, no but when he has a little liquid courage going on, he might drop you a text or two telling you how much he misses you and still loves you, or he might call just to hear your voice and ask if he can come over for a late-night hook up.
There’s a double standard for this. Your ex is drunk and anything he says during this state cannot be held against him, or he might conveniently forget having any sort of conversation with him. Don’t text anything incriminating, meaning keep your feelings at bay when dealing with him and keep the conversation light and casual no matter how much he goads you into revealing just how much you miss him. Remember he’s not liable to anything he says or does when he’s inebriated but whatever you do can be used against you at a later date, so be very careful.
3. Jealousy rears its ugly head
Jealousy is like the number one tell that a guy is into you. When he can’t stand seeing you happy in the arms of another man. In case you start seeing someone new and then notice that your ex isn’t very receptive of this new relationship and is keeping tabs on what the two of you are doing, or he doesn’t have very kind words for your new beau then he’s definitely jealous because he most definitely still likes you.
Another version is when he tries to make you jealous with a new flame. This is some fucked up mind game he’s playing and he basically wants to see if he affects you as much as you do him. So if you see an overshare of his time with his new ‘catch’ posting about how happy he is or bringing her on social events you are expected to be at, then he wants you to see him with someone new and make you jealous.
Again, don’t bite. Keep your head held high and congratulate the happy couple with a sweet smile on your face. Later you can draw devil horns on her head on the photo you printed out (You know you did) while you and a bottle of tequila get to know each other better.
4. He misses you
He is quite literally telling in either text or calls that he misses you and what you had and now he’s reflecting on what your relationship was and what it could have been.
At this point, his feelings for you are overrunning his rational thought and he can’t escape the reality of things any longer. He still has feelings for you.
Another sign that he’s missing you is when he starts reminiscing about your past and the memory both of you shared. And very specifically, the good memories. He’s missing you and the feelings you evoked in him.
5. He’s being awkward
There’s a number of ways he can do this.
If he’s cutting conversations between you too short even when they are good then that’s a sign that he’s still into you. Confusing sure, but here’s the deal. If you two just started talking again and things are going well and then he starts thins behavior then he’s most likely scared of losing a good thing again and so he wants to protect the little good things he is having with you now so be a little patient with him now.
Sometimes He straight up acts awkward when he’s around you. Acting bashful, not maintaining eye contact, or looking at you with a sad smile on his face like something’s torturing him
Does It Mean He Wants You Back?
The next question you usually ask yourself immediately after the ‘does he have feelings for me’ question is whether he wants you back or not.
This can at times be just as confusing as figuring out whether he still has feelings for you and short of him coming to your directly and saying he wants to give you guys one more shot then you will definitely be scratching your head a bit trying to figure it out on your own.
When he loves you but isn’t sure he wants the relationship
If your boyfriend feels that the issues surrounding your breakup have still not been resolved, then he might feel a bit hesitant about getting back together.
You can’t force someone to be in a relationship with you so you need to give him the space he needs while you work on yourself.
He wants to try
If you are feeling that you both want to be together in a serious way then you can always turn to a professional therapist to help you move things along in your journey back to each other. A therapist is always a good option because they will help both of you see each other’s point of view and you will be able to work on your problems using a more hands-on approach.
What Should You Do To Get Him Back
Your best bet to getting him back is using the ‘No Contact’ rule. This just basically means avoiding all situations that will allow contact between the both of you during the breakup period. Remember the fire and oxygen analogy. Feed his flames only after an amount of time and watch the fire tend towards you.
During this period, work on making yourself better and understand why you broke up in the first place so if you do get back together, the same mistakes won’t repeat themselves.
Sometimes it’s hard to know just how much you mean to a person and then sometimes it’s not. We know you are out here scouring these pages because you desperately want to get him back and we’ve worked to provide you with the tools and now we wish you happy hunting and we do hope love prevails!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé