Feeling lonely is a state of mind people often experience when they don’t find that special connection with someone who understands them and relates to them at a basic level.
It does make it worse when one feels lonely in spite of having a partner. This is because that is what ideal relationships are meant to do – make you and your soulmate connect at a different level.
People who are in a relationship can get lonely because things are not working great between the couple or they expect their partners to fill the void they have within themselves.
Whatever the issue is, if you are feeling lonely, it is time to change that. Here are a few ways you can ensure that you are not plagued by thoughts of loneliness while in a relationship:
1. Evaluate yourself
Most people get into a relationship because they are in love with each other. If things have changed since you got together, instead of putting all the blame on the other person, evaluate yourself first. Maybe you have changed and become more closed or more guarded with time.
Try to remember the good times, the reasons you fell in love with your partner. Remember how you really felt. You could get a diary and write down the specifics about your love. Don’t focus on the negatives. Do this regularly.
2. Love yourself first
Judgment, sorrow, and fear can kill love. You cannot love someone else wholeheartedly if you don’t love yourself unconditionally. Stop judging yourself over every shortcoming. Give yourself a break.
Quieten the voices that say you are not good enough. When people are hard on themselves, they are more likely to be hard on their partners once the initial euphoria of love wears off.
3. Don’t be fooled by the fake social media world
Your friends are taking couple vacations together, putting up lovey-dovey pics on Instagram, and having the best life ever. Makes you look at your own life and feel that pang of loneliness? All your partner does is go to work and come back exhausted?
Don’t compare your life to somebody else’s. It is amazing that they have a great life. But, most of it may be fake and exaggerated. They will surely have issues but, of course, will not portray that on social media.
Appreciate what you have and what your partner does for you.
4. Don’t feel guilty
You may tend to blame yourself for feeling lonely. That’s another negative emotion. Your feelings are important and valid – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your goal should be to deal with the feeling, not feel worse about it.
Accept it and seek help. Loneliness has become a cultural issue now, and more and more support systems are being set up to tackle this issue. The best thing would be to talk about it to a professional.
5. Talk to your partner about how you feel
Loneliness can give rise to depression if not treated in time. Many people tend to ignore their feelings because they are ashamed to admit that they need human contact.
If you don’t have any other issues like abuse or neglect in your relationship, there is no reason not to talk things over with your partner. It is very important that they get to know how you truly feel. People find it hard to gauge the feelings of others from time to time – but it doesn’t mean they don’t care. Open your heart a little, and let the sunshine in.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé