How Long Have You Been Questioning Your Sexuality?
How long have you been wondering if you’re gay? Has it been recent? Has it been most of your life? Maybe it’s just something recent you’ve stumbled upon. Or, maybe you have wondered for a while.
There doesn’t have to be a solid “Yes” or “No” to this answer. Some people realize they are gay and they have no interest in the opposite sex at all. Not even a little. Others, like many I know, have gay tendencies. They may like being with the same sex in bed from time to time but have no desire to have a relationship with someone of the same sex.
Either way, your sexuality is just that – it’s yours. No one can tell you who to and not to be attracted to. The point is that you figure it out for yourself. If you are gay, if you are straight, or if you show signs of going both ways; it doesn’t matter. I hope that you will gain some insight into yourself and your sexuality from this article; and if you find that you are gay, that you can be comfortable in your homosexuality.
12 Signs You Could Be Gay
Homosexuality is not the easiest thing to admit to others, much less yourself. I had a friend who many years ago, would hate when other women would try to pick her up, and she would always go on and on to tell me that she wasn’t gay. Then, finally, she came to terms with her homosexuality and is now living an amazing life. I have learned from her that the truer and more authentic you are to yourself, the better person you can be for those you love.
Here are twelve potential signs that you may, indeed be gay. Ready? Let’s go!
1. You Make Comments Like: “I would totally date them if I was gay.”
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Man, she’s hot! If I were gay, I would totally date her!” Or, as a guy you’ve said, “He’s a really good guy. A great catch. Any girl would be lucky to have him. If I were gay, I would want to date him.”
Well, it’s one thing if you say this from time to time and it’s your way of giving someone a compliment. However, if you say it more often than not when talking about someone of the same sex, you may indeed want to date them. Maybe you should date them! Are they gay or are they straight? Maybe it’s time to find out!
If you are always making comments about “not being gay” or that “if you were gay” you would do this or that, then you maybe it’s time to really ask yourself if you ARE gay. You are the only one who can answer it, so be honest with yourself and you will be more honest about your sexuality.
2. When You Meet Someone Who Is Gay and You Want To Be Best Friends
You’re at a party with your friends, and this guy walks in, and you can tell right away that he’s gay. Then he introduces you to his boyfriend. Next thing you know, you have spent all night chatting with them and having a great time.
It’s not to say that heterosexual people can’t have friends who are gay, I’m just saying that you are more drawn to getting to know people who are gay. This could be because you want to compare yourself with them. You want to pick their brains a bit and find out what “being gay” is really like.
It could also be because you feel like you can relate to them more than your heterosexual friends. Maybe you are at a party, and you feel more comfortable hanging out with the gay couple. That’s fine too.
The point is that we tend to be more drawn to spend time with people who are similar to ourselves. Those that are like-minded. If you are tending to hang out more with someone who is gay, it could be a telling sign that you are homosexual as well.
3. You Go Out Of Your Way To Make Sure People Know You Aren’t Gay
Do you get frustrated when people assume that you’re gay? And it’s not because you are a man who can dress well or a woman who loves sports and is athletic. They assume you’re gay for whatever reason and you get so frustrated!
This was my friend. We would go out as a group, and the waitress at one restaurant would always try to pick her up. She would get so mad. She would go on and on after we left about how she “wasn’t gay” and didn’t know why “she just assumes that I’m gay because I have short hair. My friend went as far as growing her hair out so that she could avoid this issue. What she didn’t realize, is that she was gay. She just wasn’t willing to admit it to herself yet.
Do you get frustrated when someone assumes your gay or that you think someone of the same sex is attractive? Do you go out of your way to make sure you dress like someone who is straight would dress? Do you find yourself putting on a front? Why is that?
If you’re straight you shouldn’t have to defend yourself and if you’re gay you shouldn’t either. If you are defensive or are going out of your way to make people believe you are straight, then maybe that’s something to look at.
4. You Find Yourself Checking Out People Of The Same Sex More Times Than Not
There are times I will find myself checking out another woman, especially if she looks like I wish I could. I’m more checking her out because I envy her, not because I want to sleep with her. I can admit that another woman is gorgeous and I know that I don’t mean it in a homosexual way.
However, if you are out with your friends and you find yourself checking out more people of the same sex than the opposite sex, maybe it’s time to question your homosexuality. It’s one thing to appreciate someone for how they dress or the work they put into taking care of their body. It’s another thing to stare and wonder what it would be like to go up and make out with them.
I don’t know about you, but if I am attracted to someone, and I am out with my friends, I will constantly look in their direction. I want to know if they are checking me out as much as I’m looking at them. Are you looking at her? Or are you looking at him?
5. You Tend To Date For The Status, Not For The Relationship
Are you currently in a relationship but find that you aren’t that “into it”? Do you find yourself dating but you don’t get physical, and your relationship is the same now as it was when you first met?
Maybe you date because you are more interested in the status of that relationship and that people don’t ask you questions when they know you are in a heterosexual relationship. Maybe just the fact that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend is enough, and you’re not really into the relationship any other way.
I’ve seen this before. I have a friend who “dated” another great friend of ours. It was safe. I always just figured that he knew that she knew he was gay. When he was ready to tell her and admit it to himself, they broke up, and we are still all friends. He felt comfortable at the time knowing he had a girlfriend. Maybe this sounds familiar.
6. You Have Had A Crush On A Friend Of The Same Sex
You have that friend that you do EVERYTHING with. You tell them everything. Good or bad. They are your person!
Do you find that you are a little jealous when they are in a relationship? Do you miss them and wish you were with them? Have you ever looked at them and known, if it were ever an option, that you would date them in a heartbeat?
I think the first person you let yourself love is always a friend. It’s safe. You fall for them because you know them better than anyone. Is that friend of the opposite sex? For some it is. Others? Their first love or first crush was of the same sex.
If you have that one friend of the same sex that you’ve secretly had a crush on for so long you can’t even remember when it started, then you may need to start questioning your homosexuality. Maybe it’s nothing, but more times than not you are more likely to first fall for someone who is safe. If that person is “safe” and is the same sex, maybe you need to be more honest with who you are, and you might be gay.
7. Have You Ever Thought Of Sleeping With Someone Of The Same Sex?
Be honest with yourself on this one. No one else knows what you’re thinking right now, just you. If you ask yourself this question, what would your honest answer be?
Have you? Have you ever thought about being in bed with that guy or that girl? The one you have a crush on? The one you said you would, “date if you were gay?”
Homosexuality can come in all kinds of different shapes and sizes. Some think about other people of the same sex but have never wanted to act on it. They are more curious than anything. Others act on that curiosity from time to time, and that’s that. Then there are the individuals who know they aren’t straight because they don’t think about sleeping with the opposite sex – ever.
Think about this question. Think about where you would fit in on that spectrum.
8. Being With The Opposite Sex In Bed Doesn’t Excite You
Maybe you have been dating someone off and on, but when it comes down to it, you just aren’t into them. When you’re honest with yourself about it, you like them as a person, but when it comes to being intimate, you just aren’t excited. You are dating someone of the opposite sex, or you have tried sleeping with different people of the opposite sex, and you just aren’t excited about it.
Has this happened to you? Does this sound familiar at all? When you aren’t sure of your homosexuality, you may force yourself into situations because that’s “who you’re supposed to date” or because that’s what any other “straight person would do.” Right?
If you’re reading this and you’re ready to take an honest look at who you are, then ask yourself these questions. Be honest with yourself so you can live a life being as true to yourself as possible.
9. Do You Get Physically Excited By Someone Of The Same Sex?
This is pretty straightforward. However, in case you are in need of examples of what I am talking about, here you go:
Ladies, do you get physically excited when that girl walks into the room, and she has that shirt that lays open just enough to give you a hint at what may lie underneath? You get all excited in your panties when she gives you that grin? It’s a pretty good sign that you are gay.
Guys, do you get turned on when that guy shows up to the gym? You know the one. The guy with the pants that are a little tight and every time he squats you can’t help but watch his butt? Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re gay too.
It’s not anything to be ashamed of, but it’s pretty telling when you are sexually attracted to someone of the same sex.
10. You Dream About Someone Of The Same Sex When You…Take Care Of Business, If You Know What I Mean
If we’re being honest, we’ve all been there. We’re alone and the sexual frustration is through the roof! So, we take care of things on our own. Some watch videos, some read stories, some use their imaginations?
What do you do in this private moment of need? Are you dreaming about all of the things someone would be doing to you so you can climax? If that person is of the same sex, it’s a sign that you are likely gay.
11. You Have Never Allowed Yourself To Be Intimate With Someone Of The Opposite Sex
There are those who try to be with someone of the opposite sex, and it just isn’t very exciting, as we discussed earlier. Then, there are others who avoid being alone or in bed with someone of the opposite sex altogether. It makes you nervous, and not because it’s your “first time.”
You are nervous and unsettled when it comes to being in bed with someone of the opposite sex. It just “doesn’t feel right.” You know what I mean? When that girl you’ve been seeing casually asks you upstairs after a date, and you know you should say, “Yes.” Instead, you make an excuse, and even though she’s gorgeous, you don’t want to get her into bed.
How about that guy who all your friends are so jealous that you’re dating and when he asks you over one night to watch a movie and have dinner, you say, “No.” Any date in public is easy, but alone at his place? Nope. Not happening.
It’s not that you don’t trust people of the opposite sex. You just aren’t comfortable being intimate with them so you avoid it at all costs.
12. You Just Have This Feeling… Something Is Different With You
You know that feeling? You know there is just something different with you. You’re different than your friends or your family. You don’t find the same people attractive as all your other friends.
Maybe that feeling you’ve had all this time is something you’ve been trying to avoid, not necessarily something that is bad, but it’s different. If you don’t have many homosexual friends, it’s difficult to feel comfortable admitting you’re different. If they love you, they don’t care about your homosexuality. The key is being true to yourself.
If you have that feeling and many of these signs seem to sound familiar, then maybe it’s time to realize that you may in fact be gay.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé