What Is Emotional Cheating?
Infidelity is a bad thing with big consequences that usually lead to a break in your relationship or marriage. Many infidelities are perceived as a betrayal of a partner. But does infidelity involve only physical contact and physically intimate moments? Is there also emotional cheating and is it the same as the physical cheating?
We are in contact with many people every day. We communicate online, we meet colleagues at work during lunch or coffee. Very easily the relationship with a particular person in your everyday life can make you to emotionally cheat on your partner. Many people claim that as long as it’s not about sex, it’s not infidelity. But how would your partner feel if he finds out about your connection or how you communicate with your colleague? How would you feel if you were in his place?
Infidelity or affairs are associated with intimacy, sharing secrets and emotional energy that you dedicate to a particular person in your everyday life who is not your partner. Most often, those who are involved in emotional cheating deny this because it is easier for them and in this way they will not feel guilty. They are comforted by the words: “What I have with him / her is just a friendship.”
There is not a definition for emotional cheating, but if we need to define this situation that it will be: Emotional cheating is intimate moments, secret sharing, intimate talks or texting, and/or emotions you share with another person than your partner.
Physical or emotional, it does not matter. The recovery of your relationship will be difficult and probably the things between the partners that experienced emotional cheating will never be the same.
How To Know That There Is An Emotional Cheating?
When there is emotional cheating, most meetings with a third person are held without the partner knowing. More and more often, the person that does the emotional cheating takes time to have not only business but also private conversations with a person. In those conversations, the emotional cheater shares intimate secrets and details, even those that they don’t tell to their partner. The person that makes an emotional affair becomes aware that he/she would not want their partner to see how he/she behaves while he/she is with the third person.
The main question you asked yourself while reading this article is: Am I participating in emotional infidelity?
Most people do not enter into such a relationship with the intention of having an affair, it simply happens when both sides get closer. If you begin to get more and more interested in his / her life, revealing details about yours, if you like when you are with that third person, even becoming dependent on your conversations and the way you feel while you are texting and chatting, then you surely are in an emotional cheating. The biggest truth us that the more you attach to that third person, the more the attraction grows, and the possibility of sexual intercourse with that person also increases. That is why emotional cheating can easily transfer into physical.
Questions To Reveal If You Are Involved In Emotional Affair
There are aspects of the relationship that may be worse than physical infidelity. It’s about emotional cheating. Famous sexologist Tracey Cox warns that flirting with another person while you are in a relationship can be worse cheating than any physical contact. The biggest culprits for emotional infidelity are social networks, such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. With these connections, cheating at this time takes on a completely different dimension. Unlike before, the possibility of cheating is much greater because of the accelerated dynamics of life and friends we have on social networks.
It’s very easy to get involved in this kind of infidelity. Sometimes the most urgent need to talk to someone and share something that is troubling you can lead to emotional infidelity. Many such affairs start online or in the workplace.
Flirting through social networks may seem insignificant, as it does not touch and happens in a virtual world. But experts warn that such kind of cheating becomes a habit that can become very dangerous. To check that you are emotionally unfaithful, answer the following questions:
1. Do you avoid telling your partner how long you have spent with the other person during the day?
2. Do you lie your partner about the third person?
3. Do you reveal details of your life to a person, even telling them about disagreements with your partner?
4. Do you worry about your appearance and impression that you leave while you are with him/her?
5. Do you imagine yourself intimate with the third person?
6. Is there any sexual attraction between you and the third person?
7. Does your conscience twinge if your partner sees you together?
8. If you see your partner doing the same things that you do with your third person, would you feel cheated on?
9. Do you feel like doing something wrong when you spend some time with the other person?
10. Do you think of someone else besides your partner?
If you answered yes to three or more questions from the above, go on time, you are cheating your partner emotionally!
What To Do If You Are In An Emotional Affair
How to protect yourself from starting emotional cheating
1.Do not flirt! It brings warm feelings of attraction that always result in infidelity, emotional or physical.
2. Pay special attention to communicating with colleagues at work or with friends on social networks.
3.Pay attention to your relationship with your partner. If you have any disagreements in your relationship or marriage, you are more vulnerable to emotional cheating.
4. Avoid meeting yourself with ex-boyfriends or person you once loved. Also avoid texting with this person. It is very easy to start emotional cheating with a person that meant something to you in the past.
5. Do not spend a lot of time with people who cheat and are not ashamed to admit it, with their views you can easily fall under influence.
What to do if you are already involved in emotional cheating with someone
You must interrupt that emotional cheating. And not with the intention of staying friends, but to stop any communication, unless you are forced to work together, then hold on to a strictly professional communication.
Take responsibility. You have entered such a relationship, do not put the blame on another person, for example, your boyfriend or marriage partner.
To save your relationship and avoid similar occurrences in the future, ask yourself why did you do it? Whether due to disagreements with the partner, quarrels, low self-esteem, and so on.
Value your partner. Be honest and open, improve communication and find ways to restore the excitement in your relationship or marriage.
If your partner finds out about your relationship with another person, be honest. If you do not want to lose you relationship, tell your partner the truth and give it time for recovery and some time for your partner to accept the situation.
The biggest loss in the emotional cheating is losing the trust between the partners. The recovery of trust in your relationship won’t be easy. But if you love your partner and you want to save you relationship try to do the tips given above.
What Is Not An Emotional Cheating
As there is not a definition for emotional cheating, there is not also a concrete definition of what is not an emotional affair. Not every communication with someone else is a bad thing and leads to an affair and not all texting is a part of emotional cheating.
Having social life, friends, or spending time with your colleagues it is a normal thing. Here are 2 things that are completely normal and are not an emotional cheating.
Examples of appropriate activities
1. Spending time with your friend
If you spend some time with your friend, and if your partner knows about it, it is not an emotional cheating. When someone is emotionally cheating, he usually tells lies and doesn’t tell to their partner about the quality of time he spends with the third person. So, if you don’t feel like you are doing anything wrong, you don’t hide your time spending with your friends, and your partner feels comfortable about it, then it is not emotional cheating.
2. Having conversations with someone who is your friend
In addition, texting and having communication with your friends is not emotional cheating. It’s okay for you to have some social life beside your relationship. And if this social life doesn’t include anything intimate or emotional with some third person, then this is not emotional cheating.
Many people are dreaming about other partners because it is a way that they can run away from the problems in the relationship, and since they do not go beyond the intimacy limit, they tend to think that their emotional cheating is completely appropriate. Emotional cheating is appealing because there is no concrete affair, so there is no punishment, and there is also the attractive dose of adrenaline, which breaks down boring everyday life.
But if people who engage in emotional cheating do not cope with their desires and needs and do not try to solve the real problems with their partner, they can do the same damage that occurs with ordinary physical cheating. The recovery of the relationship is as hard as after physical cheating.
The fact is that emotional infidelity exists. Having an affair with someone does not include just having sex, but also the way of communication, the frequent encounters, the secrets and details of your life that you discover to that person. Too close connection with a friend or colleague, or regular communication over the Internet, can harm your relationship or marriage with your partner. If you have an emotional cheating, first of all, do not be fooled, be honest with yourself, be aware that you must stop and that emotional cheating is the same as the physical one.
The relationship after surviving emotional cheating it won’t be easy. Trust issues and quarrels will become a daily part of it. But if there is love, anything can be solved.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé