A relationship that makes you feel good is considered healthy. I had been tormented for years because I used to hang out with the wrong people. They let me feel very insecure about myself. I had tumbled to the verge of insanity and then crawled back up the hill. Dealing with defeat was tough; my eye for curiosity had brought me more harm than good. I felt broken and ripped. I had been alone for too many long nights. I had been crying myself to sleep for over a year now.
I had trust issues; I couldn’t look at people in the eye. My spark had gone, the world had killed the confident little child I used to be. I believed that I was the ugliest piece of meat and bone to walk the earth. I didn’t think I was worth anything good. I stopped believing in myself. I had a hard time communicating. People that had known me before failed to recognise the person I had become. I had anxiety attacks, those of you who think that they aren’t a thing you need to reconsider what you are saying. Anxiety attacks are worse than depression, when they happen you are hurt so much that you cannot breath, it’s hard to move and your body hurts.
I had given until it hurt and I didn’t have the strength to give more. I had pushed myself way beyond my mental and physical capacity and now I was done! I was far; far away from any healthy relationship and was stuck in a phase I couldn’t seem to get out of. Along came this boy and no matter how hard I pushed, he always seemed to find a way to get back. He always had a reason to be around me. I started opening myself up to him and we became the best of friends. I didn’t know what a healthy relationship felt like until I was in one. I didn’t know what a true friend was or how a girl should be treated by a guy, until I met my partner.
I was shocked that there was a whole new world that I was completely oblivious to. I felt so jealous, I felt so stupid. Why did I not set morals and why did I let my worth be so little? Why did I not see when someone maltreated me and most of all, why did I not fight back for myself? If you are not feeling at least one of these things in your relationship, it means that you are not in a healthy relationship and you should reconsider your options.
1. You will bloom
Yes, bloom, you are going to feel like a fresh spring flower. You will know that the world admires you for who you are and you will feel the change within yourself. You will wake up to a good morning text and it’s absolutely fine if you don’t wake up to one, you can always send one yourself and get love in return.
2. You will smile over the silliest of things
You will see yourself smiling all the time. It will literally be impossible to wipe the smile off your face. Not just your face, it’s your heart that will be smiling. You will be happy in the truest of meaning. Honestly, there isn’t a moment in the whole day that I am not smiling. I have smile lines now and I don’t care a bit!
3. You make future plans
I know when we are going to have kids and we know how many we are going to have. I know when I am going to Venice and what I am going to do there. I know how many rooms we are going to have in our house and how they are going to be decorated.
No, I am not Salami the Swami and no I cannot predict the future. I have a vivid imagination like any girl and my partner loves to hear what I have to say. He happily adds his bit to it. It’s amazing how much time we spent shaping out goals and how good everything turns out when we work as a team.
4. You respect one another and each other’s decisions
My partner and I respect each other’s space. We love supporting one another, we are a part of each other’s lives but in no way do we want to change what we truly are. My partner is my muse, he inspires me to move on and do my thing and that is just amazing.
5. Their family is your family
My partner gives my family so much respect and care that I don’t know how to thank him. Even if my parents are at fault, he gives them space and is least judgmental about their behaviour. I, on the other hand, adore his mother. Respecting each other’s family makes all the difference in the world, you only do something like this for someone you truly care about.
6. You stop being insecure
When in the right relationship one becomes confident and stronger than ever before. You feel beautiful. Most of all, you stop being insecure, you could be without makeup, having a bad hair day, wearing the wrong clothes and still feel like a bombshell around your partner, because you trust them.
When you will finally be in a healthy relationship you will be the most beautiful form of you! Not only you, but the world will know!
Talk to me
Were you like me? Have you been through so much darkness in life that you just didn’t know if you’ll ever see the light? How did you come out of the darkness. Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
“The human body has been designed to resist an infinite number of changes and attacks brought about by its environment. The secret of good health lies in successful adjustment to changing stresses on the body.” – Harry J. Johnson