Just like everything else, your relationship has room for improvement as well. Your love grows with each passing day and so does your understanding. You’ve been through a lot, but it has only brought you closer together. You’ve always been there for each other even when you weren’t at your best. Even if you’re happy with what you have, you could make it into something much better. Why should you give up on a chance to have something remarkably better than what you presently have. Let’s take you from happy to ecstatic with a few tips that follow:
Win them over, and over and over again
You’ve won them over, you have them with you, and you eventually stop doing things you once used to do for each other. You might think that your relationship is at a point where you don’t need to make any sort of efforts, but you’re just slowly killing it. Even if it’s something small, do it, after all it’s the little things that count. And most often, we tend to neglect these things. Don’t give up the things you did at the start of your relationship, and keep it alive.
Don’t depend on telepathy
You need to voice your needs and wants among other things. Even if you spend your entire life with someone, they still won’t be able to read your mind. Just save each other the disappointment following expectations of being understood without any sort of communication. All your physical, intellectual and emotional needs should be communed to them. Your partner can’t assume what you need/want just as you can’t make such an assumption regarding them.
Consider your partner’s needs/wants
When you’ve spent enough time with someone, you tend to learn about what is it they like or don’t like. The things that get them going and the things that put them off. But then again, assumptions are a deal breaker. Make it a point to find out if your conjectures actually fall in line with what they want. Even if it seems bizarre to you, your partner might find something pleasing. Be considerate of what they want emotionally and physically, and try living up to it. Happy partner equals happy you!
Spare the dead end questions
They’re not just someone you walk past in the neighborhood every now and then and the routine questions are sufficient for your conversation. If you want to tune into them, ask the right questions rather than asking questions that end the conversation even before it begins.
You see each other after a long day and you’re so spent that you don’t have the energy for a ritualistic chat. Unless it is engaging in a manner that helps them unwind and ease their minds, they won’t be inclined towards a conversation. To avoid the dreaded single word, half-hearted responses, adopt a different approach.
The weekly review
Decide on doing something in the coming week that serves to enhance your connection, and discuss how it worked out for you two, and whether it should be a permanent thing or not.
Talk about any negative vibes you’ve experienced from each other in the past week, and the reasons behind them. Work on them and make sure you never have the same issues again.
Talk about and plan for the future, ranging from the next day to even the next year. In this manner you can keep up with your partner’s life and the things they want from the relationship and if you’ve managed to do your part or not.
Embrace what you find desirable about each other
There is no shame in asking your partner to do something that you find appealing. Be it in the bedroom, or around the house, just tell them how you’d like them to be. And of course, return the favor. See how the attraction amplifies when you take on this tip. It would definitely do wonders for you.
Break the routine
It’s date night and you’re planning the same thing yet again. Nobody likes monotony. Mix it up a bit. Come up with new ideas to keep it fresh. And there’s no harm in taking outside help. As long as it’s something you two can enjoy, give it a go. In doing so, you might discover sides of each other you never knew existed.
Keeping the physical intimacy alive
You may know each other inside out, be able to talk about anything and everything, share the same interests, spend quality time together, but if the physical component is missing, the relationship would feel incomplete. We need it and we crave it. There’s no point depriving each other of it. Set the mood and don’t hesitate in being the one to initiate. Learn to pick on their body language. If they aren’t being responsive, don’t be pushy. Allow them to reciprocate in their own time.
Shut out the world when you’re with them
As long as you’re with your partner, they should be your sole concern. All else can be dealt with later. They may be pouring their heart out to you and you might be distracted by something that happened earlier. And don’t think that they won’t notice, because they would and it’d make them question their importance to you. Give them the attention they deserve. Everything else can wait.
Adopt fight breaks
You’re pretty much capable of saying or doing anything when you’re enraged. Arguments in such a state of mind are nothing but trouble. You never settle anything rather end up hurting each other. Use fight breaks as an escape route when you reach an impasse. Maybe leave the room for a bit, take some fresh air, clear your head and look at the whole thing anew, and this time with the intent to settle it. Don’t ever leave an argument unresolved; it’d only come up later to make matters even worse.
Get to the root cause of your reactions
In the heat of arguments you may say things to each other that you might not necessarily mean but they tend to be hurtful nonetheless. It generates feelings of hurt, disappointment and even rage. If you just choose to act on them, it’d only aggravate the whole situation. Try explaining why you’re feeling the way you do and how the things they’ve said have hurt you. Instead of being taken aback by your reaction they’d actually make an effort to understand and fix things. Choose your words carefully and keep your tones in check and you might actually get somewhere.
Listen with an open mind
As difficult as it may be for you to accept the fact that your partner may not always see eye to eye on everything, you must find a way to deal with it. You can’t force them into agreeing with you. Be open to any differences you might encounter, it’d help you avoid unnecessary arguments.
When you apologise, make sure you mean it
Many a times just to get ourselves out of a situation or to rid ourselves from any sort of confrontation we apologize. And since we don’t really mean it we end up putting ourselves in the same situations all over again. Even if you think you haven’t said or done anything to hurt them, if they feel so, you should apologize. It shows you care.
Do all that you can to keep each other happy and everything will fall into place. Take up these tips and you’d see your relationship reach its full potential.
“The human body has been designed to resist an infinite number of changes and attacks brought about by its environment. The secret of good health lies in successful adjustment to changing stresses on the body.” – Harry J. Johnson