It’s been gradually entrenched into our minds, perhaps by media, perhaps through societal norms, that engagements are supposedly these magical events during which everything goes right in your world and love conquers all, including the catering and wedding in an Italian castle dilemma. Sure, there is stress. Wedding planning, or any event organisation for that matter, would be taxing. But what nobody ever talks about is those peculiar details that go hand in hand with being engaged. So, here are 10 of the weirdest things about being engaged that not everyone tells you.
1. The ring
You know that feeling where you have just put on nail polish and you don’t want to ruin that amazing new color, but you’re not sure if it has dried yet so you continue to wait with your hands apart from your body letting your nails air dry? Wearing the new ring is not very different. You’re not certain how to place your hands, whether the stone is large and colorful not unlike Halle Berry’s, or a stunning solitaire statement. And you feel that everything you do leads your stone to catch and reflect light. It may take some time getting used to, but soon you’ll see your ring doesn’t get in the way of everything you do.
2. Prioritizing the list
As any potential bride would tell you, finalising your guest list is one of the most important decisions you would make while planning your wedding, since everything from your budget to venue choice are affected by it, but it is also the most difficult. How do you decide who is important and who isn’t? Sure, family and best friends are going to be there. But what happens to the colleagues you aren’t the most chummy with but meet every day? Or that one cousin who’s such a Debbie Downer that you can’t help but want to cross her off the list? Good luck with that, is all you seem to think as the possibilities seem rife with stress and dilemmas.
3. Deciding who makes the cut, and breaking it to them
So you thought thinning the guest list was the most grueling task of all? Well, wait till you have to ‘gently’ inform someone that they’re not invited to the wedding. And in case you thought avoiding the conversation forever is a great option, stop for a moment there and imagine you’re having a wedding conversation with one of your colleagues who’s invited to your big day. Now imagine that conversation is interrupted by the arrival of another colleague who is not a potential guest? Got that scenario? Great. Now I suppose your next course of action would be to consider the not so tactful ‘Don’t Save The Date’ card?
4. Being asked something you two haven’t yet discussed
So, it seems that everywhere you two go and everyone you meet has just one thing to speak about upon seeing you. Your upcoming wedding. The discussions and possibilities seem endless. But what happens when one of the questions is pertaining to a subject you two have not even discussed for yourselves yet? Do you wait for your fianc to respond first? Do you look at him with thinly veiled question in your eyes? Or do you give a noncommittal response instead?
5. Having opposite answers to a randomly asked question
And then, as you both decide to plunge headfirst and respond to the innocently asked question without much forethought, it turns out much to your discomfiture, you and your fianc share opposing views on the matter. It could be something simple like the hyphenation of a name after marriage, or whether you would ever consider living in the country. You may have to take time and talk this one out for yourselves, folks.
6. Unsolicited advice
Around this time, just about everyone who’s ever gotten married turns out to be an expert on wedding planning. Or if not that, then you discover your friend just started a (insert wedding line business), and here they are offering you their services. How do you politely refuse if you don’t wish the well-meant help? Just remember, the choice to take the unsolicited advice is yours. You can say no just as easily as you can accept.
7. Avoiding mentioning the budget to friends
With the Kardashians, among other celebrities, spending big bucks on their weddings, it seems customary and almost acceptable to some to spend lavishly on their own weddings, be it the venue, cake, wedding dress or anything else that appears to require it. But not everyone has the outrageous budget of Tom and Katie, and wanting to cut costs and lie to vendors in a bid to have a cost-effective wedding without reducing the experience of you or your guests is not all that uncommon. Still, having conversations with your friends where you share details of your upcoming nuptials is a whole different matter. “Oh, well, no we won’t be having a full open bar, we’re on a budget…” In fact, the second phrase becomes rather ubiquitous over the course of your wedding planning.
8. The confusion
And most of all, planning a wedding can be a strain on one’s nerves. “Will I be able to fit into the dress in the next two months?” And thus, ensues a rigorous diet including and not limited to liquids to ‘detox’ and ‘cleanse’ your body. But trying to lose weight too quickly can lead to dehydration and light-headedness. All that confusion can’t be healthy. And then there’s the lying to the hairdresser to avoid extravagant charges for something as simple as an updo; “Oh, something simple, it’s just a party for few.” But, did you lose track of the reason of the party in the process? Or do you just wish to treat it simply as a day that you celebrate your love?
9. Calling him fianc
It will certainly take time getting used to the transition from ‘boyfriend’ to ‘fianc.’ But in the meanwhile, what do you call him? Introductions make for the most awkward and confusing bits. Did you perhaps mistakenly call him your boyfriend? Did you stop right there and correct yourself?
10. The wait
Although having a relatively longer engagement would give you the opportunity to have a wide variety of options for venues, photographers and so forth, but there’s a most overwhelming pitfall to it, apart from the difficulty of decision making due to an array of options. The wait! The most agonising and ecstatic part about a long engagement is the interminable wait.
“The human body has been designed to resist an infinite number of changes and attacks brought about by its environment. The secret of good health lies in successful adjustment to changing stresses on the body.” – Harry J. Johnson