Breakups are never easy. Especially if you’re not the one who decided to end things. Anger often makes people do things which they wouldn’t normally do, which not only presents them in a bad light but can also prevent them from starting a happy, new relationship with someone else. Many of these things can be considered absolutely normal, but they can also be exactly what makes us blame ourselves. We’ve identified seven typical things that many people tend to do at the end of their relationship, and we explain why you shouldn’t do them!
- Never get hysterical – If your partner is leaving you, it might seem that the situation has hit rock bottom and as bad as it gets. That might make you want to tell the other person everything you’re thinking. When we’re angry, we often say rude and offensive things. We throw their stuff away and try to make it appear that we’ve been wanting to break up as well. Sure, this behavior might make you think that you’re saving your ego, but it will only end up making things worse. Once the anger disappears you’ll feel ashamed for saying things you shouldn’t have.
- Agreeing to be friends – After a relationship ends your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend might offer to stay friends with you. They’re doing this because they feel guilty or because they want to keep someone who loves them close. By agreeing to be friends after the relationship it means the story isn’t over yet. A friendly relationship will only leave room for hope. As a friend, you might find yourself waiting for the relationship to start up again, but it most likely won’t.
- Asking for your stuff back – Many of us will get consumed by the anger after a breaking up. Some will feel used and want compensation. This makes even the least greedy people want to ask for their gifts and presents back. They feel this will offend their ex-partner without thinking about how it actually makes them look. After doing something like this you won’t respect yourself anymore. Your partner will also have a news story about how greedy and cheap you actually are as well.
- Looking for a reason to communicate – Forgotten books and clothes are often used by people to remind their ex-girlfriend or boyfriend of themselves. It seems like it isn’t such a big deal because there is a reason why you needed to call your ex, but sadly it’s not true. Constant attention that has nothing to do with a relationship makes a person seem even more important.
- Suffering on social media – Most of us can understand that calling someone in the middle of the night is over-the-top. But, you might still want to let your partner know that you feel sad and want to be with them. Sad songs and photos on social media websites will definitely show that you feel bad, but they won’t actually help you feel better. Instead of thinking about how to improve your situation, you’re looking for outside help. Such a public demonstration of your feelings like this might only make people laugh at you.
- Having arguments with your ex’s new partner – It’s only been a week, but your ex has already found someone new? This might make you angry enough to wanna chat with that person, especially if you think your relationship is not over and is only taking a break. Whenever you’re looking for information about the new romantic interest of your ex, you’re wasting lots of time on a stranger instead of yourself. This curiosity can quickly turn into an obsession and it’s not one you want to have.
- Trying to understand the reason why you broke up – You might be thinking that your partner hasn’t told you something and you think if it could just be discussed, the situation could be fixed. However, odds are you’ll end up spending months trying to find out what was wrong while constantly questioning everything. If your partner has left you then it’s really unlikely you will manage to convince them to change their mind. If the reason for breaking up wasn’t some terrible mistake you can apologize for, there probably isn’t much use in trying to fix anything.