There is no doubt that successful relationships require lots of hard work. However, being in love with someone is also one of the most rewarding and happiest feelings you could ever put yourself through. Those that are younger may often find themselves bombarded with statements like you’re losing the best years of your life, or might even be too young to know what real love is. If, for whatever reason, you’re starting to believe that you might not be as happy as you could be, it’s perfectly normal and you’re not alone. Continue reading below to discover 10 important questions you should ask yourself before deciding whether or not to break it off with your long-term significant other.
1) Am I the happiest I can be with my partner? – Are you? This question is extremely important to consider when you’re in a relationship. As a couple you’ll often be thinking about the happiness of your partner rather than yourself. It’s important to take a step back and look at things from the outside. You need to be selfish and think about your own happiness, before theirs. Is being with this person obstructing you from being genuinely happy? Do you feel like you are being blocked from being the happiest you can be? If so, it might be time to rethink your relationship.
2) Is your relationship bringing positive effect on your life? – In the long run, a relationship should be considered a lifelong commitment. The state of your relationship right now is a glimpse of your life a few years down the road. If your differences cause constant arguments right now, they may lead to something worse in the future. The same goes if your relationship brings out the worst in you rather than inspiring you to be your best. If either of these is true with your current partner, it might also be time to rethink who you’re with.
3) Are your friends in favor of the relationship? – Should your friends really have a say on your relationship? Of course they should – Your real friends anyways. Like family, friends were already part of your life before your partner came into the picture. Oftentimes, they know you better than your partner even does. Falling in love with someone may cloud your thoughts and judgements, that can make us blind to the negative side of our partners. If your friends are against your significant other from the start, then it’s possible they can see something that you can’t.
4) Are you ready for commitment? – Commitment in a relationship is not I love you if or I love you because. Commitment is I love you in spite of – your shortcomings, imperfections, weaknesses, failures, and negative attitudes. It is the act of accepting that person for who he/she is and sticking to it no matter what. If you’re in doubt whether you can stand by your partner through thick and thin, then you are probably not ready to commit to the relationship.
5) Have I tried everything I could to save this relationship? – Is this just something you’re pulling out of the blue, or do you really feel like you’ve tried everything possible? Have you even told your partner about the hesitations you have? You want to make sure and give your partner enough time to try and fix what’s wrong. Or, that you at least talked with them about it and you’re not just pulling a wild card. You cared for them enough to begin the relationship, it’s only fair to give them some type of warning.
6) Do you two share the same passions and goals for the future? – Talk of the future should inevitably come up at some point if the two of you are committed. In most cases, two people going in completely opposite directions won’t have much of a chance at keeping the flame alive further down the road. That’s why it’s important to ask yourself this question early on. It’s absolutely fine for two people to have different goals in life. However, if you feel that your visions for the future just don’t mesh well together, you might need to wait it out for someone who shares more of your own passions.
7) Do we make time for one another? – All of us have our own obligations in this modern world. Life can get hectic from time to time, but no responsibility should take precedence over the love you have for each other. People either make time, or excuses, so if it seems that your partner often chooses the latter, do you really want to continue feeling like you’re constantly put on the back burner?
8) What was the reason you said Yes to the relationship? – This doesn’t only apply to women. Guys, what made each of you say yes, I want to be with her? in the first place? All you probably need right now is to be reminded why you two actually wanted to be together in the first place. Take a few moments to sit back and remember how much you two loved each other at one time.
9) Are you ready to let the person go? – Breaking up with your partner when you’re not really sure is like tossing a diamond ring up in the air before a cliff – then trying to catch it. What if after all the harsh words and pain you caused, you realized that you really couldn’t live without the person? Do you know if that person would even accept you back? Before ending the relationship make you’re sure completely ready to let the person go. If your mind changes later on, they might not take you back.
10) Can I handle the single life? – Are you going to be okay without this person? Relationships can be nasty, people can get stressed out because of work, family, and everyday life. Some people just need a breather so they can take a step back. It’s important you don’t do something you might actually regret in the long run.
Whether you end up staying together or cutting ties with your partner, it’s important to always remember you’ll bounce back and things will be okay. There’s someone for everyone out there and your current relationship could very well be a stepping stone for something in the future. Take these questions seriously and give some deep thought as to what will make you happiest. Either way, you’ll be just fine.