You have this guy in your life, but you can’t seem to figure out where it’s all heading. Does he want to be friends? Or does he want more? Here are ten signs a guy likes you but is too scared to tell you.
1. He Does Incredibly Cute Things (and Then Pretends It Was Nothing)
Friends do cute things, of course, they do, but they’re usually cool about it. They don’t try to “act” cool about it, on the other hand. They’re happy to show they care. Guys who are scared of showing their emotions will try to downplay what they just did. In other words, they aren’t cool about it, so they have to pretend to be cool about it, usually, by shrugging their shoulders, looking more arrogant and aloof than a Cheshire cat, or, by turning colder than ice. Sometimes you’ll glimpse their eyes nervously darting all over the place too.
Men who do these things are usually scared of rejection – they want to show you they care but are so afraid you’ll reject them they pretend they don’t care about caring about you.
2. He Doesn’t Stop Texting You.
A sure-fire sign a guy likes you is his want to communicate with you. All men, of course, aren’t the communicative kind (and some are appallingly bad at writing messages), but a lot of men who have a crush on someone want to text them. Because every time they get a text from you, they feel liked by you (and get weird butterflies spinning around their belly). So they can’t stop texting you.
When texting, you can hide a little bit more than in real life, so for some guys, that makes it more comfortable as well. Those guys might also do the ambiguity thing – like adding a “LOL” at the end of a compliment, to make it sound as if they’re joking and not coming onto you. Yeah, right.
3. He Remembers
You mention you like Ben and Jerry’s Rocky Road ice cream, and a week later, he surprises you with some B&J’s Rocky Road ice cream. Or you talk about life, and a week then he reminds you of that thing you said, which he’s now been walking around thinking about.
Friends remember these things too, but they don’t obsess as much about what you said as a guy in love does…
4. He’s Jealous at Other Guys
He pretends to be just a friend, but as soon as some other guy checks you out, or tries to steal you away, he either gets very grumpy, belittles the guy, or does his best to get your attention back firmly on him.
5. He has Conversations with Your Legs (and Other Body Parts)
A guy can try to pretend to feel no attraction for you and just wanting to be your friend, but when he’s having conversations with your legs on days you’re wearing a skirt, it’s a sure-fire sign he’s attracted to you.
Attraction doesn’t mean a guy has a crush on you. It merely means he’s attracted to you physically. I’m sure there are people you’re friends with whom you’re invited to, but whom you’d never see yourself in a relationship with. Simply because the attraction doesn’t cover all areas of their personality – you may click emotionally and physically, but not intellectually and lifestyle-wise.
However, if a guy has a crush on you, he’s for sure attracted to you physically.
6. He Touches You Often
Some people are touchy-feely, but if a guy is way more touchy-feely with you than with others, he’s either a) more comfortable with you than others b) irresistibly drawn to you.
It’s the same as with flirtatious guys – they flirt with everyone as it comes naturally to them. Still, they usually flirt a lot more with the people they like, and the undertone is entirely different. It has meaning.
7. Everyone Else Thinks You’re a Couple
The guy may be too scared to confess his feelings to you (maybe even to himself), but everyone around you, especially people who know him well, is guaranteed the two of you are an item or meant to be an item.
8. You Catch Him Staring at You When He Thinks You Aren’t Looking
If the guy sits daydreaming about you, chances are he’s into you!
9. He’s Protective of You
Men like women who appeal to their inner hero, which, for some reason, has a lot to do with carrying heavy items and keeping you warm at night. It makes them feel manly. So don’t ruin their fun by telling them you’re perfectly capable of doing whatever it is they want to do for you.
The thing is men who like you, even if you don’t display much sign of needing help, often jump to your rescue. They’ll defend you in front of others, offer to drive you places to know you got there safely, and check in on you five times a day when you have a mild cold.
11. He’s Gentlemanly
Unless the guy is opening the doors for everyone else, carrying everyone else’s bag, and offering his jacket to everyone else, he cares more for you than them. (Very similar to the hero complex!)
What to Do About a Guy Like This?
Some guys are freaked out about commitment (for whatever reason), some are freaked out about hurting themselves, or you, if they get involved with you, yet others are scared of rejection. If a guy likes you but doesn’t tell you, it’s usually because of one of those reasons, or because he used to date your friend (or has other ties to people near and dear to you), or doesn’t think he wants a girlfriend right now.
I believe it is Matthew Hussey who says that the only way to get out of the friend zone with someone is to make them think of you s*xually, and he’s right. You have to flirt and tease and see what happens. Try to make him a bit jealous as well and see what happens (don’t overdo it though, because that could lead to him running for the hills, thinking you don’t care). And if you’re looking for a relationship, you also have to be willing to show you caretake a step and see what happens.
A man liking you doesn’t mean he will end up in a relationship with you, though – if his fears are more significant than his wants, he won’t be roped in no matter what you do. Nor will he be roped in if his desire to go travel, or move to another city is more appealing than dating you. In that case, don’t waste your energy. You don’t just want a great man, and you want a great relationship. If he isn’t willing to give you that, then there are better prospects for you out there.