Here are some things to think about if this should ever happen to you.
1. Think about whether it is worth answering.
If someone contacts you after receiving you as a host, the temptation to respond and find out what happened and why they contacted you again can be overwhelming. But think about whether it is really worth it. [Also read: 6 Things to Consider Before Starting a Relationship]
If you are not interested in reviving things, if you have drawn a line in the sand and don’t feel that you need a break, or if you really suffered when they sheltered you, you could simply leave their message unanswered and send it right back. [also read: 10 Signs Your Ex Is Actually, Legitimately A Psycho]
You don’t owe them anything, and you need to be kind to yourself. So if you feel that it would be better for your state of mind to just leave things behind, that’s fine.
2. Consider whether you have ever been guilty of ghost play.
So, you really liked this person a lot before they ghost you. But now your pride tells you not even to tell them the time of day.
Before you completely rule out having anything to do with this person again because of the way they treated you, you should think about whether you have ever been guilty of ghosting. The chances are good. [Also read: 8 Brutal tips to Make Him/Her Regret their Move]
Maybe you had a date with someone you liked very much, but then you were so consumed by professional or personal problems that you didn’t get back in touch on that second date until you realized that weeks had passed and it was too late. [Also read: 10 Ways to Know if she Appreciate you]
Maybe you spent quite some time writing someone about a dating app and then just lost interest. But you didn’t tell him that you didn’t want to talk to him anymore, you just let things fizzle out.
3. Ask for a reason and think about it carefully.
Instead of just letting this person come back into your life without asking questions, you should be direct with them. Call her out on what she has done.
Do not let her get away with it. If you have an interest in continuing things with them, it is probably best not to throw it in their face, but you can still ask the question.
Ask them why they harboured you, and then consider whether you think their apology is legitimate. Maybe they had a career crisis, or maybe someone close to them got sick.
Maybe they were still trying to get over someone else, or they were afraid of the prospect of commitment. Or maybe they just weren’t so in love with you then and have now reappeared when they feel bored or lonely.
4. Listen to your gut.
It is up to you to decide whether their reasons for ghosting and now their reasons for coming back are valid.
Your gut will probably be able to tell you if they are just making excuses or if they had a real reason to ghost you, which you can forgive and leave behind.
If something deep inside you cries out that you should not trust them, there is probably a good reason for it.
Your gut feeling will also tell you if you really like this person enough to give them another chance.
If it doesn’t really bother you, or you think it’s just a passing fancy, it’s probably best to say no, because it’s not fair to either of you to start things up again.
But if you really liked them before they sheltered you, and these feelings are coming back now, then maybe it is worth giving things another chance.
5. Tell them how you felt about their behaviour
It is important that they know how their ghosting made you feel.
If you have ever ghosted someone, you have probably justified it by saying that you didn’t really care about them or that it was kinder to just keep quiet than to break up with them. This person probably said the same thing to himself.
We all like to believe in things that make us feel better, rather than facing uncomfortable truths. So don’t be afraid to tell them how it made you feel.
If you try to be cool and detached and pretend that it didn’t really bother you when it did bother you, they may be more tempted to haunt you again further down the road or carry their ghost train into the future.
6. Treat them as you would like to be treated.
In situations like these, it can be really tempting to give them a taste of their own medicine.
As mentioned before, you have the right not to react.
But you might be tempted to answer them, to pretend that all is forgiven, and then to pretend that you are hard to get, or to get revenge by being the one to dispense the spirit to them after a while.
That’s not the way to do it. If you want people to treat you well, you have to treat them well. Be respectful and kind, and do not do anything to a person you see that you do not want them to do to you. What gets around gets around, and the better you treat other people, the better you will be treated. Things To Do If They Ghost You And Then Come Back