1. You’re lonely.
Put simply, one of the main reasons you’re not letting go of a past relationship is because you’re lonely right now, “Rather than pining over someone who wasn’t right for you, focus on yourself,” she said. “Get back into hobbies you used to do, treat yourself to something that makes you happy, and get back in touch with friends who you haven’t seen in a while. It’s much better to be single than to be with the wrong person. [Also read: 7 Signs That Mean She’s Secretly In Love With You]
2. You see their Social media
3. You lost confidence during the relationship.
If you were with someone who was bad for you, your confidence may have taken quite a knock while you were together.
“Sometimes in the wrong relationship, your confidence can be taken down a step, especially if your partner put you down or otherwise didn’t appreciate the amazing person you are,” [Also read: 5 Serious Mistakes Women Make In Relationships]
4. You only remember the good times.
In the midst of a break up, you’re likely to only focus on the good times you and your ex had. “Relationships are complicated, and sometimes when we’re sad, we want to forget about all of the issues and see the relationship through rose-colored glasses,” Ettin said. “Assuming you broke up for valid reasons, it won’t help to dwell on the good that was there. [Also read: 5 Biggest Blunders Women Make Before Accepting His Offer]
5. You haven’t learned to let go.
“You must accept that everyone makes mistakes and that these are now in the past,” he said. “Think instead about what you can take away from the situation. While it may be difficult at first, the more you practice compassion and understanding, the easier this process will become. [Also read: 3 Truths About ANGER Everyone Should Know]
6. You’re afraid of being alone.
Many people are scared of ever being alone, Eek said, which makes your attachment to a previous relationship even stronger.
“A study found that individuals who don’t like to be single, think with far greater intensity about their ex-partner than people who are better at handling being one their own, [Also read: 6 Things To Do When Happiness fades in your Relationship]
7. You didn’t get closure
People can obsess over their exes for various reasons, including the fact you’re unlikely to ever get closure. This can give people “an inability to understand a situation, and the feeling of helplessness in not having any power to change it,
The truth is, when someone hurts you, you’re not going to like any of the reasons why it happened. So racking your mind for explanations isn’t going to help you in the long run. It’s best to try and let it go. [Also read: 9 Painful Reasons Why Love Hurts So Much (Sometimes)
8. You’re mulling over regrets.
You might find yourself thinking about all the choices you made and things you said before the break up, essentially regretting every tiny mistake you both made.
“People find themselves mulling over regrets like, if only the other person had learned to manage their anger instead of raging or being passive-aggressive,” Thomas said. “If only we had wanted the same things out of the relationship. If only the good, fun times together had lasted longer. Frequently, unhealthy connections also include great moments that at that time gave us hope that all would be okay in the relationship. After the break up, it’s very easy to allow our thoughts to drift to regrets and unmet wishes.”
9. Your Ex feels familiar
Being familiar and being comfortable in a relationship are two different things. If something feels familiar, it means you’ve probably been through a similar situation before, whereas feeling comfortable with someone means being able to be yourself without fearing repercussions for your views, opinions, or feelings.
“Our earliest relationships form a template of what’s familiar for us,” said Neo. “Even if it’s hazardous to us. Familiarity can also mean we don’t know how to deal with other sorts of people who may be good for us — instead we may dismiss them as dull.”
Breaking up with someone who is familiar is hard because you don’t only have a bond to them, but to all the other people who were like them who came before.
10. You’re still in contact.
Finally, you might be struggling to move on because you’re still in contact with your ex. This is a particularly bad idea if you’re trying to move on from a relationship that was abusive.
Where you only feel alive when abused, your toxic ex may be contacting you too much and destabilizing you. With that, it is impossible to have a sense of closure. Other forms of contact may include obsessing over their lives via friends or social media.”
Put up healthy boundaries in place, she said, or you’ll never rise above it and heal from the relationship.