1. No one can meet your fantasy expectations of perfection.
The early stages of a relationship are not concerned with love, but lust. And lust leaves you blind to the imperfections of your new partner. [Also read: 10 Ways To Avoid Getting Into A Relationship That Won’t Last]
But lust soon fades and you are confronted with the stark realities of who this new person in your life really is. You fell in lust with the fantasy person you have in your mind, and are then disappointed when you realize that your partner cannot live up to that fantasy. This is painful because. [also read: 4 Common Menstrual Disorders every Woman Shouldn’t Ignore]
2. Acceptance is difficult.
Once you are free from the rose-tinted glasses of lust and can see more clearly, you realize that you are going to have to accept your new partner’s many flaws (as you perceive them). [Also read: 7 Amazing ways to Revive a Dying Relationship]
But acceptance doesn’t come easy. You may clash with your partner’s imperfections and seek to get rid of them. You may try to change the other person to better fit the fantasy you had in your mind. The hurt then comes in the form of…
a) Your partner’s inability to change as you would like.
b) Your inability to accept them for who they are.
3. You will hurt your partner
Whether you like it or not, you will cause pain to the person you love. It’s guaranteed in any relationship. You will say or do things that hurt their feelings, intentionally or otherwise. [Also read: 6 Signs Your Partner’s Attraction Towards You Is Purely Physical]
When you hurt someone, that hurt reflects back on you. You believe you shouldn’t be capable of inflicting such pain on them because love should conquer all… or so you’ve been told. But love can’t hold back the tide of emotion forever.
Eventually, the inevitable clashes that occur when two people form a bond will surface. This conflict hurts not just because you feel attacked, but also because you realize you are capable of attacking the person you love.This realization may shock you, and suddenly… [also read: 5 Women Reveal The Biggest Lessons They Learned From Cheating]
4. You doubt whether this person is right for you
How can this person be right for you if you are capable of hurting each other? What if there is someone out there who really is perfect for you These sorts of thoughts are painful. They pull you this way and that, tearing you apart as you wrestle with them. [Also read: 8 Women Tell The Truth About Why They Couldn’t Let Him Go]
Doubt hurts because you fear you might be settling for less than you deserve or desire. Every time your partner does something that you don’t like, these niggling thoughts enter your mind. Or you might obsess about the suitability of your partner constantly. This steals away your inner peace – more pain follows. Overthinking can also be a problem when… [Also read: 8 Ways You Keep Yourself From Finding True Love]
5. You project past pain onto your current relationship.
If you’ve been hurt in the past – whether by a romantic partner or by some other loved one such as a parent – it’s easy to bring that pain into a new relationship. You may project that pain onto your partner. This pain has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you and your past. [Also ]read: 5 Scientifically Proven Ways To Make Him Fall In Love
You may know this from a rational perspective, but you struggle to not let it feed into how you think and act toward them. You may distrust them because of a betrayal you suffered previously. You may assume they will abandon you because that’s what an important figure from your past did.
6. Love can be overwhelming.
For most people, finding someone to love and share their life with is a key aspect of life. But love, with all of the things that come with it, might sometimes be more than you can take. It can literally overwhelm your mind to the point where it hurts to even think about it. [also read: 5 Romantic Bedtime Stories For Your Partner]
You may feel the need to withdraw from your partner and find some space to breathe. Being overwhelmed about anything is hard enough, but it’s worse when it comes to love. [Also read: 15 Ways To Tell That He’s Actually In Love With You]
7. Love shines a light on all that is imperfect.
Love in total isolation is perfect. You probably experience moments of this bliss from time to time. But, as mentioned above, it’s rare to be able to separate love from everything else.
In fact, it’s often because of those moments of perfect bliss that you come to notice all that is imperfect. Love shines a light on your own imperfections as you attempt to forge a life with someone else. Love highlights all those things in your life that you may not be happy with.
Suddenly, you realize how impatient a person you can be, or how stubborn you are. Or maybe you recognize that the way you are living your life is not in tune with who you are at your core. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Reasons Why Love Hurts
8. Change is painful.
Love drives change in many ways. Not only the changes within yourself discussed above, but practical changes to your life in general. New relationships can turn your life upside down.
A new person becomes the focus of a great deal of your time and emotional energy. Other relationships can suffer. Parts of your life that you could once dedicate time to are no longer such a priority.
Watching yourself change and your life change can be daunting. It can cause conflicting feelings. This inner turmoil is not pleasant. But growth rarely is. Reasons Why Love Hurts