When you are in a fake relationship, you are never really going to discuss your plans together. You aren’t going to be open to talking about what’s in store for both of you. You aren’t going to be planning anything too far in advance. You’re only ever really going to be living in the moment. You roll with the punches. You ride the wave. You act on impulse, and you just do whatever you want with one another.
You only spend time with each other whenever it’s convenient to do so. And neither of you get the sense of what direction your relationship is heading. You don’t feel the kind of security that you get with knowing that your relationship is still going to be there for you when you wake up tomorrow.
But when you’re in a real relationship, you won’t be able to stop talking about your future together. Sure, you’re still going to be living in the moment. Yes, you are going to make sure that you savor every moment that you share. You are always going to try your best to be as mindful and as present as possible. You never want to compromise the present. But you also know that part of making the present as good as it possibly can is in making sure that it lasts into the future. You always want to make sure that you’re laying the groundwork for a meaningful and fulfilling relationship that both of you can nurture and nourish for a very long time.
You are the type of relationship that schedules your dates. You want to make sure that you spend time with each other on a regular and consistent basis. You don’t take each other for granted, and you always look forward to being able to be with one another. And you aren’t afraid to go into detail about what your future is going to look like either. You talk about when you would want to get married. You talk about what kind of family you’re going to have and where you’re going to live. And you’re always going to be talking about how you can’t wait to spend the rest of your lives with each other.
When you’re in a fake relationship, you don’t feel comfortable expressing your innermost feelings. You always feel like you have to put on some kind of mask or filter. You beat around the bush a lot. You are never direct or forward about anything. You take a passive-aggressive approach a lot because you don’t feel like you have the freedom, to be frank. You suppress how you feel because you don’t want to place yourself in a position of weakness or vulnerability. You don’t want to look like you’re as invested in how you feel as you are. You pretend like you’re not interested in the entire thing as a whole.
But when you’re in a real relationship, you would never feel like you have to hide behind a mask. You never feel like you would have to filter yourself. When you’re in a real relationship, you can be real yourself. You allow your genuine self to come out and play. You leave your feelings all out in the open. You allow yourself to be vulnerable because you know that that’s what it takes to earn someone’s trust and love.
You put yourself in a position of weakness because you trust your partner enough to never capitalize on your vulnerabilities at all. You never act withholding your feelings because you are always being showered with love and affection yourself.
When you’re in a fake relationship, you’re going to feel so exhausted from always trying to read into every little aspect of your phony romance. You are going to work so hard to decipher the subtext of it all. You want to figure out what the other is thinking and feeling because neither of you can trust each other. You are always looking to spot the signs because neither of you can just be honest with one another.
But when you’re in a real relationship, you don’t have to wade through a sea of subtext or sketchy behavior. You don’t have to read between the lines. You don’t have to over-analyze anything. You just have to talk about what’s in your heart – and you just have to listen to one another attentively.
When you’re in a fake relationship, you are never really going to know just how important you are to that person. You don’t even know if you play any real significance in that person’s life. You don’t know if you’re just some other face in the crowd.
But when you’re in a real relationship, you love yourself more because of your partner’s love for you. It’s like the relationship forces you to confront the things about you that are the most beautiful – the things about you that you always used to ignore. When you’re in a real relationship, you feel so much love, and you have so much desire to give as well.