Breaking up is never really an easy thing for anyone to go through. This is especially true if there are still a lot of lingering feelings involved that need to be addressed. But in spite of the harmful nature of every breakup, it doesn’t always have to be so bad. You have to make sure that you are going about it in the right way.
If you are the one who is ending the relationship, it’s perfectly normal for you to have still some feelings left over for your ex. This is especially true if the two of you happened to be in a relationship for a very long time. If you’re just curious about how they might be doing because you still care about them after the breakup, it’s okay to reach out to them to check-in. There doesn’t have to be any malice or ulterior motives behind reaching out to them other than just wanting to know if they’re okay.
But how exactly do you go about doing so? Do you know that there are so many strict rules and boundaries surrounding breakups? You don’t want to be crossing the line, but you can’t help it. That’s okay. You should know that it’s okay for you to want to know how your ex is doing after a breakup. But there is no denying that these are treacherous waters and you have to be careful with every move that you make.
There are beautiful lines here that you don’t want to cross. You want to be able to convey a sense of empathy without pitying them. You want to be able to show that you genuinely still care about them without making it seem like you’re still in love with them. You want to express your concern over their well-being without being too snoopy or nosy.
That’s why you must be able to look at the entire situation through the perspective of your ex. You have to be able to put yourself in their shoes and think about what they might be feeling and how they might want to be approached by you. The best way for you to contact them is dependent on the circumstances surrounding your breakup. Remember that context is everything.
If the two of you ended things on a reasonably toxic note via a lousy fight, then maybe it would be better if you maintain that space for a while. It might be best to wait and be patient after a terrible fight before you reach out again, even if you’re desperate to do so. If the two of you were together for a very long time and they didn’t receive the breakup well, then you shouldn’t be so eager to message them so soon after the breakup.
Perhaps you’re the one who got broken up with, and you aren’t handling it all too well. Then it might not be the best idea for you to be messaging them right away after the breakup. You might want to give yourself a little room to breathe for a bit.
Again, it’s all dependent on the context of the situation that you’re in. There is never going to be a definitive approach to this for all couples and breakups. It’s different for every single one. You’re just going to have to be able to read the situation and react accordingly. There is no one-size-fits-all method of reaching out to an ex after a breakup.
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your breakup, it can be very tempting to text them sometimes to see how they’re doing. But you have to make sure that you aren’t doing so recklessly. If you’re going to reach out to your ex, you must reflect first on what you’re about to do. Be honest about your intentions, and try to think about what you’re looking to get out of reaching out to them. And if you’re feeling lost about what to text them right after your breakup, then you can refer to the following texts that might best suit your situation:
1. If you broke up with them and they aren’t handling it well.
Hi ______. I hope you feel better today. I’m sorry for the way things went down yesterday, and if you still want to talk, I’m willing to listen.
2. If you broke up with them and they seem okay.
Hi ______.Thank you for hearing me out yesterday. I wanted to know that I appreciate the way you handled our conversation, and I’m thankful for what we had when we were together.
3. If you went through a mutual breakup.
Hey ______. I’m thrilled we talked about yesterday. I think our conversation needed to happen, and I’m thankful we’re both on the same page. How are you feeling?
4. If you broke up after a terrible fight.
I’m sorry about how I expressed myself yesterday. I think it was a conversation that needed to be had, but I feel I went about it the wrong way. I hope you’re doing OK today, and if not, I’m willing to talk about it further.
5. If they broke up with you and you’re handling it poorly.
Hi ______. Thanks for your honesty yesterday. I’m sorry about the way I handled it, but I felt very strongly for you, and I wasn’t ready for this to end. It was tough, and I hope you understand.
6. If they broke up with you and you’re handling it well.
Hey ______. I’m glad we talked about yesterday. Thanks for being so honest. I wish you all the best in life.