It’s no secret that in breakups, there are winners and there are losers. It’s very rare for two people to move on and get over a breakup at the exact same time. Usually, there’s that one person who is still hung up over the other. And in your case, this might be your ex.
It’s not easy having to move on and get over a breakup. There are just so many feelings there that need to have a sense of closure – and closure is never easy to come by. For a lot of emotionally vulnerable and insecure people, it can take months (and sometimes even years) before they can move on from a breakup.
It all really depends on the kinds of personalities and relationships that we have. We can never really dictate the appropriate duration in which a person is allowed to grieve and stay hung up over the failed relationship. We all heal at our own individual paces after all.
So what if you’re already moved on from your relationship and you’re ready to move into the next phase of your life already? Then good for you! You have completely left the past in the past and you’re not harboring any of those feelings that might bog you down anymore. But what if your ex starts getting back into the picture again? What does this mean for you? Should you avoid your ex at all costs?
Or since you’ve moved on, it should be okay for you to interact with one another on a friendly basis? You don’t want to give your ex too much power by deliberately avoiding them all the time. But you also don’t want to jeopardize your emotional stability by getting intimate with them again. What can you do?
Well, it all really starts with being able to decipher the signs and signals that your ex is sending you. You just have to be able to read their behavior and body language. You can’t be taking everything at surface level. You must always be able to go deeper than that.
You can’t be taking your ex’s advances at face value. And if you feel like you lack perspective on the matter, then you’ve definitely come to the right place. Here’s how you should be reading the signals that your ex is sending you.
1. He is asking to stay friends with you.
Typically, it’s unadvisable to stay friends with an ex especially when a breakup is still fresh. Just take some time for yourself for now. Maintain your distance and see what life is like without him. If he really wants to be friends with you, he would be able to respect that.
2. He still makes contact with you on a frequent basis.
Just because you’ve said that you’re open to being friends doesn’t mean that he should get to contact you whenever he wants. He should still understand his boundaries – how your “friendship” isn’t a usual one. If he’s overstepping, it’s probably because he wants you back.
3. He makes an effort to update you on all the stuff that you’ve missed.
He’s trying to impress you with how much he has grown since you’ve broken up. He’s trying to show you that he isn’t the same guy anymore and he’s definitely worth taking another chance on. He wants you to give things another try with him.
4. He really takes notice of the little happenings in your life.
It’s borderline stalker territory at this point. He knows things about you that he shouldn’t really be knowing about unless he were deliberately digging for this information. He’s still hung up on you and he’s still trying to keep his tabs on your life.
5. He lets his jealousy show whenever you start dating again.
He doesn’t want you to start dating other men because he still wants to be the guy that you’re dating. He isn’t over you and he isn’t going to support your romantic endeavors that don’t include him.
By now, your ex has probably exhibited a few of these signs at some point since your breakup. But whatever the case, you really need to make a decision and just stick to that decision. Do you want to try to rekindle the flame and give your love a second try?
Or do you really just want to completely break things off and start a new life without this person anymore? Whatever your answer is, you have to make sure that you are making this decision with all of the information that you need. If you are reconsidering getting back with him, then you need to make sure that he feels the same way with you.
But if you just want a fresh start, then you might not want to be so accommodating of him if you know that he still has feelings for you.