Sometimes we fall in love fast. So fast in fact that we don’t really pay too much attention to anything other than the butterflies in our belly. Then one day we wake up and realize that we don’t know that much about the guy we’re now fancying ourselves in love with. So we start paying attention and realize some things don’t add up. It all seems a little bit weird. The question then is: is he married or dating someone else, or is he just acting weird for some other reason? Or is our imagination a tad too overactive because we’ve been lied to in the past?
Let’s have a look at some of the signs that might indicate he’s seeing someone else. Just beware that there are other reasons he could be acting weird too, so don’t jump to any conclusions!
He Never Lets Go of His Phone
Most people keep their cell phone nearby so that they can check messages and play around with it when needed. Some even respectfully turn it over so that they won’t be disturbed when out with you. After all, a date shouldn’t be about who just liked a post on Facebook. However, there are some people who aren’t merely being polite by turning their screen to face the table; rather they’re trying to make sure you never see a message. That’s when you have to ask yourself why he doesn’t want you to see the messages?
Some people are private and they guard both their personal and business conversations. Chances are you’ll figure out pretty quickly if a guy is always guarded about things, or if he’s just guarded when it comes to his phone because he fears you’ll find messages from another woman.
There are, of course, other reasons why a man might guard his phone, be it that he doesn’t want you to find out he’s a criminal, he has a child, or his mother sends corny messages!
He Isn’t into PDA
PDA (public displays of affection) aren’t for everyone. We know that. But if a guy starts looking around every time you try to kiss him, or take his hand, is it because he can’t stand anyone seeing him being affectionate, or is it because he doesn’t want to be discovered by someone who knows he’s with another woman too? That’s the thing you have to work out.
A big telltale would be if he whisks you away for a weekend getaway somewhere where he has no problems with PDA, only to back away every time you try to kiss him in public back home.
Is He Constantly Looking Around?
When you’re out together, is he constantly checking to see no one sees you together? Sure, some men love having a look around, but if he’s obsessively looking over his shoulder everywhere you go, you should start feeling concerned. If nothing else he must suffer some fear or another if he can’t relax.
Of course, men who are real pros at dating two women at the same time, would never let on they’re stressed. If he’s good at this game, when he meets someone he knows he’ll simply smile and introduce you to them. Freaking out would only make him look suspicious. Being out for a coffee or for a meal with a friend, on the other hand, is quite normal.
Does He Hang Up the Phone When You Walk in?
Has it happened often when he’s on the phone that he hangs up straight away if you walk into the room? As if trying to quickly finish the conversation before he has to answer a question he doesn’t want you hearing the answer to? Unless he’s talking to drug dealers, planning a surprise for you, or having an embarrassing conversation with his mother, there’s no reason why he’d hang up the phone every time you get close.
Does He Prefer a Certain Area of Town?
Is he always advocating for you guys to hang out in a certain area of the city? To the point where he gets uncomfortable if you manage to lure him to some other area?
We all have our favorite hang outs and our not-so-favorite parts of the city. However, that doesn’t make us paranoid when we venture into another area. If he gets really uncomfortable in some areas, ask yourself if that’s because he doesn’t want to be seen out with you in those areas, or if he’s scared his ex will start throwing tomato cans after him. You never know… LOL!
He Never Wants to Go Out at All
Is it even worse than him only wanting to hang out in certain parts of town? Does he plain refuse going out even? Does he always have an excuse to stay in rather than go out?
Of course some people are less fond of crowds than others, but even those who abhor crowds (possibly even to the point of claustrophobia) like going hiking, heading to the beach, or doing something else that means they aren’t always sitting on the couch. It’s normal not to want to go out after a long day at work, but not every day is a work day.
Not everyone is a social butterfly and some truly hate the bars and clubs, but most people want to go out sometimes.
Even if it’s not because he could get caught dating two women at once, you should probably try to figure out what’s wrong if a guy you date ALWAYS wants to stay at home. He could suffer social phobias, or other it could be something else, but you’d do best to figure out what it is that’s bothering him. After all, if you intend to keep dating him, you’ll want to know.
He Doesn’t Introduce You to His Friends
It’s one thing to wait for a while to introduce a date to your friends. After all, some people prefer to keep their friends out of the picture until they’re certain where something’s going. If he still hasn’t introduced you to his friends after months of dating you, something is probably off though.
Unless he’s scared his friend the Casanova is going to sweep you off your feet and ride away with you into the sunset, or all his friends are a bunch of jerks or criminals, it’s decidedly odd that he doesn’t introduce you.
Most of us want the people we love to meet one another and get along, so if your date doesn’t start introducing you to friends after a while, try to find out where the problem lies.
He Always Has an Excuse for Not Meeting Your Friends
Some guys are intimidated by social events, others by women. That might make them a bit nervous when meeting your friends and possibly drag their heels doing it. If he always has an excuse not to meet your friends though, you need to figure out why. Is he scared rumor will get out he’s seeing someone else, or is he actually terrified of your friends?
A healthy relationship is a lot about having a healthy social life – both one where you see your friends alone and one where you share friendships as a couple.
He Cancels a Lot
Is the guy you’re dating constantly canceling on you? And not because he’s an entrepreneur working till ten o’clock every other night, but because…well, why? Either he doesn’t care enough about seeing you as something else is always more important, or there’s another reason.
Beware we’re talking about men in the US here. I live in South Africa. Everyone cancels all the time, because no one takes plans seriously. That’s a way of life, nothing to be suspicious about. However, the people who do wanna see you get around to seeing you, even if it’s not on the exact time and day you first thought they would.
He’s About as Spontaneous as Not at All
You can’t just call him and ask if you can meet up, because, well, when you do he’s NEVER available. That’s alright if he is the aforementioned busy entrepreneur, or similar, but if he’s never free unless you plan ahead it gets suspicious. Especially if he never randomly invites you along when you call to ask what he’s doing, or decides to change his plans to see you.
Some guys are busy, truly, they are, you just need to figure out if he’s busy with work and friends, or if he’s with another woman.
He Travels a Lot
Many men travel a lot and that’s not a sign they’re unfaithful. Some men like having one woman in every harbor though and those are the ones you have to watch out for. If he always seems to dodge your phone calls when he’s away, or never answers in the evenings, then you may have cause for alarm. Especially if he plain refuses to let you come with him on any of the trips.
The Positive Signs
Any one of the above signs can indicate you’re sharing your man with someone else, but it might also not. If he takes you along to family parties, introduces you to all his friends and have you meet his boss, it’s less likely that he’s also dating someone else. That’s to say, unless she’s the one who’s having to be invisible.
Men sometimes want to hide things, like social phobias, or having a kid from a previous relationship, which has nothing to do with dating other women. If you think your guy is hiding something you need to talk about it though. You care for the man. You want to build a relationship filled with trust. You want him to be comfortable sharing who he truly is with you. You want him to let you love him for who he is. And to do so you have to have conversations where you are both honest, but also loving and understanding. If he’s hiding something, chances are he fears being rejected for it.
It’s also important to remember that relationships, at least in America, aren’t really exclusive until after you’ve had “the talk.” It’s no secret most people think they can date as many people as they wish before you actually sit down and decide to be a couple. Some people wanna have that talk pretty early on. Others think it’s best to wait five months. You have to be the judge of when you want to have it.